Bungling fuel thief siphons motorhome toilet into his mouth

Aw, shit!” 😉

A thief who tried to steal fuel from a motorhome got a shock when he put a hose in his mouth and siphoned off the contents of the toilet.

The culprit got a mouthful of the lavatory’s weekend contents rather than the diesel he was expecting to transfer to his container.

Gun-Toting Texas Pastor Nabs Grandma Stealing Packages From Porches

Will S.' Random Weirdness Blog

Don’t mess with Texans!

A gun-toting pastor in Texas caught a grandmother stealing packages from the porches of Baytown residents last week.

Pastor Benny Holmes was captured on video charging through his front door wielding a pistol and pointing it at the suspect, Laurie Ferguson, 52, according to the Baytown Police Department.

“He was at his wits end,” said Holmes’ wife, Pat, to ABC 13 News. “He was determined in his mind that he would sit here, however long it took, to see if he could find her.”

Ferguson initially denied that she was stealing when first confronted by Holmes.

“She said, ‘I’m looking for my dog,'” Pat recalled, adding that her husband then told Ferguson, “You found your dog. Bow wow.”

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How a Tornado Helped Bust a Tennessee Neighborhood Thief

Great that it destroyed the bastard’s home, too! 🙂

A tornado that swept through a Tennessee town damaged homes and threw Jerrod Christian’s belongings onto lawns – many of which had been reported stolen by his neighbors, police told ABC News.

Since the tornado hit the town of Kingsport on Sunday, Christian has been charged with two burglaries and two thefts.

Christian, 26, was in jail on unrelated charges when the twister hit. Neighbors emerging from their homes to survey the damage were surprised to see what was on Christian’s yard, police and neighbors said.

“My house was torn up pretty badly, so I was checking things up,” Ed Cleek told ABC News. “Then someone called me and said: ‘Hey, I think that’s your air compressor. You want to take a look?’”

Cleek walked outside, and immediately spotted his bright red air compressor lying in his neighbor’s yard.

“I called the police right away,” Cleek said.

Officer Thomas Patton of Kingsport Police Department soon arrived at the scene.

“We also discovered a Lincoln welder which belonged to Mr. Cleek as well. There were a ratchet, an air hose and a weed trimmer that were stolen from other neighbors,” Patton told ABC News.

Cleek said it was no accident that his air compressor was in Christian’s yard after missing for a while.

“My air compressor was locked up in a barn… I kind of had suspicions, but you can’t just accuse people without proof,” Cleek said.

At the time of the discovery, Christian was incarcerated in the Sullivan County Jail in Blountville, Tennessee, on charges of disorderly conduct and retaliation for past action.

“In that incident, his girlfriend called the police and said that he had taken her van without permission,” Patton told ABC News.

Patton said as officers spoke with Christian, he became “extremely belligerent and disruptive, shouting and cursing the officers with profane expletives.”

The officers arrested Christian for disorderly conduct and took him to the Kinsport City Jail. While en route to the jail, Christian allegedly threatened to assault the officer and sexually assault the officer’s children, resulting in the charge of retaliation for past action.

Now he’s gonna do more time, for crimes undiscovered till the tornado, AND have no home to return to when he’s released! 🙂

Good news is always better with a side of schadenfreude, I think. 😉